I've been putting young children to sleep on a daily basis since 1979. I have a MA in human development and have studied sleep counselling extensively. I've read all the major books about it.

One thing I can say for sure is that babies don't naturally want to fall asleep.

Innately, they want to safely explore the world and learn about it. Falling asleep may make them feel vulnerable and/or experience FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

As adults we know, supposedly, that we need to sleep in order for our brains and bodies to work right, but babies aren't born with that knowledge. We have to teach them.

Regardless of what The "sleep experts" say, there is no single method that works for every child. In most cases, it seems to be some magical combination of thoughtful caregivers/parents and thoughtful methods that work the magic. Both help infants, toddlers, and preschoolers to feel so comfortable that they allow themselves to sleep and learn to go to sleep on their own.

Here's what I'd tell any new intern or parent about sleep. This list is not exhaustive. It does include some of the tips I tell myself most often. The ones I rely on over and over again.

Ages 0-1

1)

Listen carefully to their cues. Watch and listen as much as you can. Learn how they behave when they're tired and hungry. Learn how the two are different. Infants turn their head away when overstimulated and/or tired. Watch this example of a dad listening to his infant during a serve and return session.

This Dad actually notices when his baby is done and turns the camera off. Did you hear that baby say "no" when Dad says "your turn"?

Infants rub their eyes when sleepy. They fuss and whine at things they normally wouldn't when they're tired. They might also scream inconsolably until they're able to calm down and sleep or throw temper tantrums.

Noticing early when they're getting tired and talking them through the process of a nap or a bedtime ritual is one of the smartest things you can to to get a baby to enjoy sleep.

Children often start to stir and wake 37 minutes after they fall asleep. Any sound at all during that 5-7 minute wakeful period could lead to the end of that nap. That's not enough sleep. Most babies should get 2 full sleep cycles per nap (around 90 minutes) and 2 naps per day in the least.

2)

Do the least possible for sleep.

Sometimes the younger the child, the more you have to do to help them to sleep but never do more than you need too. That's because whatever you do to help them to sleep, will be expected of you from that point forward.

So don't do anything you're not able to keep up with like taking a long drive in the car in order to put them to sleep. If you nurse or bottle feed them to sleep, they'll expect that too. That's why the sleep experts recommend the eat, play, sleep routine over the eat, sleep, play sequence.

3)

Pick up on their natural schedule and make it a ritual. Keep track of things with a pen and paper for a while if it helps. Discover their patterns and open the door to their sleep.

4)

Try using a sound machine.

5)

Try safe swaddling.

6)

Move gradually from putting them to sleep to teaching them to sleep.

7)

Use quiet music, singing, reading, pj's, baths, and dim lighting

8)

Make sure they get enough calories during the day so they won't need as many at night

Ages 1-2

1)

Set the mood. This should start during the fist year and become even more predictable by the second. Children need to know that it is naptime for sure. They need obvious and not so obvious cues. They also need to know what the end result will be. (Sleep)

2)

Use a predictable and fun ritual for naps and bedtime Relaxed diaper changes and getting into a sleep sack can be soothing even though they might protest with the realization of what's to come. Talk them through it gently and confidently.

3)

Use stories, quiet music, laptime, songs and cuddles

4)

All children need sunshine and physical exercise during the morning hours in order to be ready for naps and bedtimes. Some need a certain type and/or amount of sensory stimulation well before their rest. Allowing plenty of time for unstructured play can help to satisfy their senses..

Ages 2-3

1)

Continue with sunshine and exercise during the day.

2)

Should take 1 midday nap

3)

Talk with them about their sleep and how it can be nice and peaceful. Explain how their body and brains will feel after they sleep.

4)

cutdown on pre-sleep stimulation like tablets, games and TV at least 45 minutes before sleep.

5)

Make your sleepy time ritual comforting and predictable.

6)

Make a normal amount of noise once your child is asleep unless they prove you should do otherwise

7)

Remember to be as quiet as possible after 37 minutes and at 37 minute intervals if you think they need more than 2 sleep cycles.

Ages 3-4

1)

Stay close until the child is lying still.

2)

Continue rituals. Dim lights, quiet music

3)

Practice the 4 B's before bed. Bathroom, Blanket, Books, Bed.

4)

Allow quiet reading on beds but not getting up for any reason. If you allow 3 books, let them look at those 3 as long as they want, then put them under their cots.

5)

Get them to lie still while singing to them. Children can stay awake by squirming.

6)

Pat or rub backs if needed.

If there is a struggle, the child may be overtired.

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Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and an all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human dev from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI and is the founder of early childhood rocks, a non-profit org dedicated to creating change through early childhood education.