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I compiled these techniques from a number of articles on self-care after narcissistic abuse. I did this because after almost 50 years as a child care provider, teacher, director and/or child care business owner, I know how one feels after a long week providing care for very young children and their families. It can be very similar to emotional abuse. Your self-care should never be taken lightly. Here are some examples:
When a director gets mad at you for being late when your child is having health issues...
When a parent doesn't understand how you could have accidently flushed their child's favorite undies down the toilet trying to rinse the poop off them even after you ran all over town trying to replace them...
When a child bites you and your co-teacher implies it was your fault....
When 5 kids out of 12 come with no boots or snow pants even though their parents know we go outside everyday.....
When you're told you have no possible replacements so you have to make it in to work with kids, even with the stomach flu....
When your request for vacation gets turned down even though you put it in 6 mos. in advance because the director's staycation is that week and she's not willing to change it even though you're getting married that week....
When a parent picks up 35 minutes late and can't believe you called him away from a car sale he was making just to pick up his child....
I believe small but frequent abuses, added together, can end up making us feel like a well-spun salad. All wrung out and ready to be chomped on the following day. That's why our own self care is so important. By the way, the examples above are all taken from real situations. Here are a few ideas for people like us who need serious self-care.
one
Set Boundaries. This helps us but it also helps others to know where they stand with and what the consequences will be. Just like with young children, we need to be clear, be fair, and follow through every time we speak.
two
Use positive affirmations. As providers, we know that repetition creates acceptance in our minds. We can use this to our best advantage.
three
Exercise. This gets the blood flowing to your brain and helps you stay focused and positive.
four
Breathe. Try the STAR technique the children learn in Conscious Discipline. Smile Take a breath And Relax.
five
Partake in a creative hobby.
six
Spend time in nature.
seven
Get support from friends and family
eight
Join a support group.
nine
Seek professional help.
Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and an all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human dev from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI and is the founder of early childhood rocks, a non-profit org dedicated to creating change through early childhood
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